Wednesday, January 9, 2019

Getting Over A Breakup

Life is not easy, especially when dealing with relationship problems and situations. It can be downright miserable and heartbreaking.  It seems like everyone gets their heart broken at least once, or at least torn up a few times, when the people you care about the most end up letting you down. Or, maybe for one reason or another, your relationship just didn’t work out.
Suddenly you find yourself in that confusing, cold, dark and lonely place when your relationship ends and you have no clue what to do next.
In the long run, it doesn’t really matter what the reasons are that a relationship ends, as much as what you decide to do next. Unfortunately many relationships tend to break apart during the winter months, which can be depressing anyway- because of SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder), so it’s like a double dose of sadness when that happens. 
We have all been there and suffered from the horrible disappointment and pain that hits us when a relationship is over. The hardship and pain that follows can vary quite a bit from one person to the next, but the recovery process afterward can be much easier if you do a few simple things.

Here are 8 Ways to overcome emotional heartache and move on:

Take good care of yourself
This may sound too easy, but most people who have a broken heart just suffer for awhile and don’t take care of themselves.  Staying up late, drinking too much, not getting out, or eating too much fast food and too many sweets can make you feel even worse. Even if you feel like a complete failure when a relationship breaks up, you shouldn’t beat yourself up about it. Try being your own best friend instead. Go in the opposite direction. Start exercising more and eating healthier and you will quickly feel better.
Journal about it
One of the most effective ways of analyzing a problem is to write everything down. Many psychologists recommend doing that, especially if your situation involved trauma or abuse.  Keep a journal about everything that happened and how you felt about it. When you read it at a later date, you will have a better understanding of why things happened and what they mean to you. This is part of a healthy recovery from anything. You are the only one who really knows what you have been through. If the relationship was torn apart by alcohol or drug addiction, journaling will help you see it more clearly as something that has happened in the past. It is also a good way of making the choice to close the book and move on.
Reach out for help
This can be hard, but you need to reach out for help if you are suffering. There are people close to you who can help you see the whole situation from another perspective. When you talk about what happened with your close friends, or family, or even a professional counselor, you will gain a deeper understanding and be able to see the whole picture, not just your ideas about it. Other people can help you in ways that you don’t expect, so try to be open to what they have to say. Think of all the times you have helped someone else and reach out for those people that you can count on for advice or even just someone to listen. This is a step in the right direction and is never a mistake.
Change your space
One thing that definitely helps a broken heart is change. If you live somewhere that you shared with the other person, move out. If you can’t move out of your apartment or house, change it.  Rearrange the furniture, take down the decor. Do what you need to do to make it different. It is very healthy to change the space you live in following an emotional breakup. This is one way of feeling better fast. Embrace change as a good thing, and there is no use crying over something you can’t change.
Remember what you have gained
Looking back at where you have been with the other person is not an easy thing to do. Maybe you spent years together and so it is hard to imagine your life without them. If your partner has died, it can even be harder to deal with your grief afterward. A broken relationship is a situation very much like losing someone you love who dies.  It will take time for you to process your grief and look back at how far you came together. As time goes by, and only when you are ready, you should look at all the photos you took together, and make them into something you can keep, such as a print for your wall, or a photo book. This will help you find a healthy way to treasure the time you had with the other person.
Reward yourself
I know that rewarding yourself sounds like a ridiculous thing to do, when your heart aches, but believe me, it helps. If you have been wanting to take a trip somewhere for a long time, this might be a good time to travel. Remember, it’s common sense advice to avoid traveling alone. Find other ways to be good to yourself because that is the key. Go shopping and buy yourself something that makes you happy. This is not frivolous or crazy. Rewarding yourself actually works because anything you surround yourself with or place you go that makes you feel better is a good thing.
Do what you enjoy
We all have things that we are good at.  Think of them as your gifts. It is something you like to do and are naturally good at. This can be anything at all, from the simple to the serious.  Maybe you have a favorite hobby that you like to work at. If you like to play the piano, or violin, ride horses, run, go hiking, swimming, or canoeing, you should go.  Do what makes your heart sing. Do the kind of things that made you happy before all the heartache set in, and you will be surprised at the effect it has on your everyday life.
Focus on the positive
More than anything else, you should surround yourself with positive thoughts and people you feel good around. Collect a bunch of affirmations you like and pin them all over your walls. Find quotes that inspire you about your life.  Change your outlook. Change your thoughts. Change as much as you can from the way it was in your relationship. Be adventurous. Try something new that you have never done before.  If you want to do something extreme like bungee jump or hang glide or snowboard down a mountain, just do it. Whatever you do, just try to have fun and you will be amazed at how quickly your sadness fades away.

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See You At The Top,
Joseph Montes

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